Honor your father and your mother. The command to honor your father and your mother addresses adults, not children. And both parents deserve equal respect. The fifth command, found in Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16 stated that parents were to be honored. They were to be prized highly, cared for, and obeyed. To live in peace for generations in the Promised Land, the Israelites would need to respect authority and build strong families. Parents are God’s ministers to instill respect for authority in children. The same word “honor” that parents are to receive is also to be given to God and is sometimes translated “glory”.
God took the idea of honoring parents very seriously as can be seen in other parts of the Mosaic Law. For example, parents were not to be cursed or struck Exodus 21:15 “Anyone who attacks their father or mother is to be put to death. Exodus 21:17 “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Leviticus 20:9 “‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.
Parents were to be respected and obeyed. Leviticus 19:3 “‘Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
The passage in Deuteronomy 21 describes the punishment for wicked defiance of the fifth commandment. As we can see from these Scriptures honoring ones parents was something that God took seriously. It had to be instilled in children by teaching them discipline and respect. In other words the responsibility for fulfilling this command actually fell upon the parents.
Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
The fifth command is the first to be accompanied with a promise. It also marks a transition in the orientation of the commandments and looks forward to the book of Joshua, when Israel will take possession of the Promised Land. God envisions for the people perpetual existence in the land, but that security depends upon obedience. Failure to keep the commandments of God would result in expulsion from the land (see Deuteronomy 28:58-68). By honoring their parents, the Israelites would ensure Shalom, or well-being of every member of the community, even those individuals who were older and therefore more vulnerable. The care of the aged marks the just community that God desired for His people.
Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Like in the fourth command, Deuteronomy expands on the fifth commandment. It adds the clause “as the Lord your God has commanded you” and “that it may go well with you.”
Three rationales underlie the command as stated in Deuteronomy: God commanded it; keeping it will prolong life; and this life will “go well with you”. Deuteronomy 5:16 assumes that a society in which elders receive honor and support will be more stable and prosperous.
In turn, it is the children’s responsibility to care for the welfare of the parents. This principle is solidified in the New Testament.
- Mark 7:10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’
Here, Jesus quotes from 4 of the Scriptures we just looked at: Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Exodus 21:17, and Leviticus 20:9. In the context of this verse (also found in Matthew 15:3-6), Jesus is explaining the principle behind the fifth command in a confrontation with the Pharisees. So let’s take a closer look at this confrontation starting in Mark 7:8-9. Jesus condemned the Pharisees for placing their traditions above God’s commands: “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”9 And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!
Jesus was referring to the Pharisaic teaching that a man who had dedicated a gift to God is then unable to use that gift to aid his parents. Jesus pointed the Pharisees back to the fifth commandment and then strongly rebuked them for not following it. Mark 7:11-13 But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— 12 then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. 13 Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”
That which was “devoted to God” referred to the “Corban vow”. The teachers of the law held that the Corban oath was binding, even when uttered rashly. The practice was one of many traditions that adhered to the letter of the law while ignoring the spirit of the law. The teachers of the law appealed to Numbers 30:1-2 in support of the Corban vow. Moses said to the heads of the tribes of Israel: “This is what the Lord commands: 2 When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. By using the word corban (Hebrew for “offering”) in a religious vow an irresponsible Judean son could formally dedicate to God (i.e., to the temple) his earnings that otherwise would have gone for the support of his parents. The money, however, did not necessarily have to go for religious purposes. The Corban formula was simply a means of circumventing the clear responsibility of children toward their parents as prescribed in the Mosaic Law.
However, Jesus categorically rejected the practice of using one biblical teaching to nullify another. The scribal interpretation of Numbers 30:1-2 satisfied the letter of the law but missed the meaning of the law as a whole. What was important was that children were to honor their parents and this meant taking care of them in their old age. In this passage Jesus reaffirmed how important this command was to God.
Now Jesus lived under the Mosaic Law but his death and resurrection ushered in a new and better covenant. Hebrews 8:13 says “By calling this covenant “new,” he has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and outdated will soon disappear.” The Old Covenant, the Law of Moses (including the Ten Commandments) is obsolete, as Christians we are under grace. But the principles behind the fifth command are timeless and reaffirmed in the first century church.
Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Here the fifth commandment is repeated almost verbatim. God’s plan has always been that the family nurtures, encourages, protects, and cares for each other. This is His plan for the biological or nuclear family and for the church or spiritual family. This begins with honoring those who are older and taking care of them. The apostle Paul, inspired by God told Timothy to instruct the church at Ephesus to follow this principle.
1 Timothy 5:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. God wants children to learn to give benefit for benefit. Your parents supported and nourished you when you were young and helpless; you ought therefore to support them when they are old and destitute. To repay them, as far as possible, for all their kindness. This debt can never be wholly repaid, but still a child should feel it a matter of sacred obligation to do as much toward it as possible.
Home responsibilities are to be accepted as the appointment of God. The sacredness of family relationship is constantly insisted upon both in the Old Testament and the New. All transgressions against it were severely punished under the Mosaic Law, and were condemned by Jesus. The idea is that we owe a debt of gratitude to those from whom we have derived existence, and to whom we owe the support, care, and education we have received. We are bound to see that to the utmost of our ability their needs in old age are met. Despite the fact of this being stated positively, as an example of what pleases God, the negative is also true, namely, that failure to follow this principle is not acceptable in the sight of God.
1 Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Paul emphatically declares that those who fail in these responsibilities have denied the faith and are worse than infidels (KJ; Geneva).
Family is a lifetime commitment, reflecting the permanence of the family relationship we are called to in becoming children of God. As the apostle John, inspired by God wrote, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).
God intends for us to continue to show respect and honor for our parents long after we leave home and perhaps even more as they age and may require support and care.
Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
The first four commandments define how God wants us to show love for Him. This Fifth Commandment begins a series of six commandments that show us how to love others. In a way, the Fifth Commandment connects the two sections, since God reveals Himself as our loving Father. No father deserves honor as much as our Heavenly Father! Yet the Bible shows that humanity, and even those chosen to be God’s people, have often failed in showing that honor and respect to our Creator, God.
God pointed out this much-too-common problem in Malachi 1:6: “A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the Lord Almighty.” This Fifth Commandment helps us see how learning respect and honor in the family setting helps prepare us to show honor to our ultimate Father.
The principle behind the fifth command also has application to the church as a whole. While family members should certainly assume the responsibility of taking care of their own, we must remember that those in our local congregation are our spiritual family members. Jesus said in Matthew 12:48-50 “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Therefore just as children in ancient Israel were told to honor their father and mother, we in the local bodies of the Lord’s church must honor one another.
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
A community in which people are devoted to one another, where the people honor one another above themselves will be more stable and prosperous and it will go well for that community. God gave Israel these commandments to set them apart and to be a light for the rest of the ancient world.
As 1 Peter 2:9 says the church is now God’s chosen people, His royal priesthood, and His holy nation. When we honor others above ourselves (Romans 12:10), when we show proper respect to everyone (1 Peter 2:17), when those who are younger, submit to their elders, and when all of us, clothe ourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5) we are declaring the praises of him who called us out of darkness into his wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9). We are doing a great job of this here in Cloudcroft so now, like Paul, inspired by God, told the Thessalonians do this more and more (1 Thessalonians 4:1,10).