Last week we looked at the seventh command: You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18). We looked at the basics behind this command and the deeper meaning, being faithful to God. But this command naturally leads into the topic of divorce and that is a very relevant topic for Christians today. So this morning we are going to look at the seventh command and the issue of divorce. We will look at Jesus’ confrontation with the Pharisees over the subject of divorce as recorded in Matthew 19:3-9.
In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus gave the proper interpretation of the seventh command: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”. A few verses later Jesus clearly stated that the only acceptable reason for divorce under the Mosaic Law was adultery. Mathew 5:31-32: “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
It is important to understand the context of these verses. First, Jesus was speaking to Israelites who were still under the Law of Moses. Second, we need to understand what was going on in Judea around this time. Divorce was a hot topic among the Hebrews living in Judea during Jesus’ ministry and this was in large part due to Herod’s unlawful marriage to Herodias, his brother Philips’s wife.
John the Baptist was put into prison and killed, at least in part, for his public opinions on marriage and divorce. Matthew 14:3-4 Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, 4 for John had been saying to him: “It is not lawful for you to have her.” Let’s look deeper into the marriage of Herod and Herodias.
Herod (nicknamed Antipas) was a Roman client “ruler,” of Galilee. Though he ruled as a Roman client he was technically an Israelite under Mosaic Law. Herod divorced his first wife to marry Herodias, who had been the wife of his half-brother Philip. According to the Hebrew historian Josephus the two fell in love and made plans to get married while Herod was visiting with his brother Philip. While a guest in their home, Herod persuaded Herodias to leave her husband Philip for him.
In order for Herod and Herodias to be married under Mosaic Law, Herod had to divorce his wife (Phaesalis) and Herodias had to divorce her husband Philip. Jesus clearly states in Luke 16:18 (1984 NIV) “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” They were selfishly tossing aside their commitments to their spouses because they decided they wanted something better. Getting a “certificate of divorce” would satisfy the “letter of the law” but totally ignored the intent of the law. Even though they would have the “certificate of divorce” they were both committing adultery in God’s eyes.
On top of this, Herod was also violating another part of Mosaic Law by having a relationship with his brother’s wife. Leviticus 18:16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother. The Judeans were stunned and angered by this unholy marriage and this is why John the Baptist rebuked him.
It is against this backdrop that the Pharisees approached Jesus on the subject of divorce in Matthew 19. A parallel account of this incident is recorded in Mark 10:2-12 but our focus will be on Matthew’s account.
With Matthew 19:1, Jesus begins his journey from Galilee to Judea and toward the fate awaiting him there. Along the way, he continues to explain to his disciples what it means to be a follower of Christ. The ensuing discussions contrast the kingdom values of Jesus with the more worldly values of his disciples. When the Pharisees test Jesus with a question about divorce, he emphasizes that God intends the permanency of marriage (Matthew 19:4-9). The disciples, however, conclude that it would then be better “not to marry” (19:10). Jesus replies that the dual choices of commitment in marriage or celibacy are both marks of discipleship and that his teaching on marriage is for the “one who can accept this” (19:11-12).
Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” The last few words of this verse are the key; “for any and every reason”. This phrase is not in the parallel passage in Mark. Matthew possibly included it because he was writing to a Hebrew audience who would have been aware of the dispute between the schools of Shammai and Hillel over the interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4. In their discussion with Jesus the Pharisees point to Deuteronomy 24 to support their view of divorce for“any and every reason”.
Two schools of thought represented two opposing views of divorce in first century Judea. One group supported divorce for almost any reason. These people followed the teachings of a Rabbi named Hillel. The other group; followed the teachings of a rabbi named Shammai and they believed that divorce could be allowed in the case of adultery. This conflict hinged on how each group interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1.
Deuteronomy 24:1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce… Shammai held that “something indecent” meant adultery – and thus was the only allowable cause for divorce. Hillel, on the other hand, emphasized the preceding clause “who becomes displeasing to him”. He claimed a man could divorce his wife if she did anything he disliked – even if she accidentally burned his food while preparing his meal.
In his answer, Jesus focused on marriage not divorce and he clearly took the side of Shammai. In his response Jesus cites Genesis 1:27 “made them male and female” and Genesis 2:24 “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”, interpreting 2:24 to mean that in marriage God takes two persons and makes them one.
Matthew 19:4-6 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
This affirms that God’s desire for marriage, “the way that works for marriage”, is one man and one woman united for life. Matthew 19:7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
The Pharisees response to Jesus’ answer indicates that these Pharisees were probably followers of Hillel. In other words, they believed divorce was permissible for “any and every reason” as long as one provided a certificate of divorce. The Pharisees would boast that they had never cheated on their wives while married. But they thought nothing of divorcing over and over again whenever they found a more pleasing woman. They even thought they had book, chapter, and verse to support their perceived innocence. But what they were doing was taking Scripture out of context in order to justify their own sinful behavior.
Jesus then explains the proper interpretation of Deuteronomy 24 as well as God’s will for marriage and what God deemed an acceptable cause for divorce under the Mosaic Law. Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
In Moses’ day, as in Jesus’ day, as in our world today, the practice of marriage fell far short of God’s intention. Moses instituted some laws to help the victims of divorce. The divorces Moses permitted were a concession to the hardheartedness of man and a protection for the woman who was being sent away for no good reason. The law found in Deuteronomy 24:1 was a civil law designed especially to protect the woman who, in that culture, was quite vulnerable.
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”Jesus made it clear that to divorce a spouse for any reason was not and is not acceptable in God’s eyes. Jesus goes on to clarify that adultery was the only acceptable reason for divorce under the Mosaic Law.
This is consistent with what Jesus said in Mathew 5:32 and Luke 16:18: But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Luke 16:18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” In the two examples we looked at this morning both Herod and the Pharisees sought to misrepresent God’s Word in order to justify their sinful behavior. They weren’t going to commit adultery they were just going to divorce their current spouses when they found someone they liked better. Guess what? They were still committing adultery. Herod and the Pharisees sought “loopholes” to justify sinful behavior, nothing has changed.
People today that claim to be Christians still seek to misrepresent Scripture in order to justify sinful behavior and this is especially true when it comes to the subject of divorce. I’ve had people come to me and attempt to use Matthew 5:28 (anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery) as justification to divorce their spouse. They say “according to Jesus they cheated, so I can divorce them.” Well, that isn’t the intent of what Jesus was saying, that is looking for an “out” and that’s no different than what the Pharisees were doing. Even if adultery is committed, there should be an effort at reconciliation because as Christians we are called to forgive.
There is absolutely no reason for two Christians to ever get a divorce. Because if both parties are submitted to God’s will and the Lordship of Jesus Christ there will be genuine repentance and genuine forgiveness regardless of the sin committed. Ephesians 4:32 says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Divorce was relatively easy in Old Testament Law and it is certainly easy in the 21st century. It is not however what God intended. As Jesus pointed out, God’s intention for marriage is between one man and one woman for life. That was the example from the Garden of Eden and Genesis 2:24 “they become one flesh”. However, something else happened. Adam and Eve sinned and ever since then we have lived in a fallen world. That’s why Jesus came, and while the “law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17).
The truth is God intends for marriage to be between one man and one woman for life. But people are sinful and sometimes it isn’t always possible and that’s where the grace comes in. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 the apostle Paul, inspired by God and led by the Holy Spirit, spoke to Christians in Corinth concerning marriage. While Jesus’ original audience were those still under the law, Paul, spoke to those that were under grace. (Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 for some background on the church at Corinth).
Read 1 Corinthians 7:10-15. This passage is quite clear. A Christian should do everything in their power to save the marriage, even if married to an unbeliever. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances (7:15).
We live under the doctrine of grace but grace does not mean tolerating or justifying what God says is sinful. Remember our examples from last week. Israel committed adultery against God and eventually God divorced her, but not before giving her a chance to repent. God gave Israel multiple chances to repent before sending her away. The same principle holds true for marriage. Genuine Christians should do everything possible to honor and to save marriages. But if the other party is unrepentant, unwilling to make the marriage work then “let them go”. If the person were truly a Christian there would be repentance, there would be a willingness to make it work. But if the person is not submitted to God’s will and they do not want to be married and they leave, there isn’t much else the other party can do.
The key to this passage is found in verse 15: “God has called us to live in peace”. Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This verse implies that this isn’t always possible. And, as 1 Corinthians 7:15 says, we are called to live at peace. The Christian is not under obligation to try continuing living with the unbeliever if the unbeliever is unwilling. If the unbeliever were forced to live with the believer there would be no peace in the home.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Couples should decide against divorce from the start and build their marriage on a mutual commitment to Christ. As the Lord’s church all of us must “honor marriage” doing all we can to support and encourage one another, particularly younger married couples and those married couples who are struggling. We must do everything we can to help struggling couples save the marriage, looking to the Scriptures for guidance and authority and seeking God’s will in all situations.
Divorce is a last resort, a nuclear option, which should only be considered when all other remedies have been exhausted. However, in those instances when one of the parties is unrepentant and unwilling to save the marriage there is no other choice. As the Lord’s church we are never to condone or be tolerant of sinful behavior but we also must be willing to extend grace and mercy to those who have been affected by the tragedy of divorce. Each case is different and we simply have to do the best we can with the information we have relying on the grace and mercy that is ours through Jesus Christ.